Thursday, 26 June 2008

The new marketing metric of choice: Return per Centimetre Down

So, is blogging 'hot'? (see below)

Possibly, but what seems even 'hotter' are rap-based cultural references, cos marketing is baddasss. Innit.

But gosh, that would suggest that rap based cultural references are just a fad – which they definitely are NOT. It’s time for companies of all kinds to look at their rap-based cultural references, to sharpen their usage and demand measurable results… there’s no point being down with the kids if you can’t measure the return on every centimeter you are down.

MarketingProfs gets down with da kids...

If you were lucky enough to be at the MarketingProfs B2B Forum earlier this month, you may have been exposed to some language of the street that needs explaining.

Lena West ran a Social Media Lab at the forum, with some of her views on getting results in social media being covered in this Q&A. But some of it may need translating...

It seems that in the last couple of years, companies have been looking to learn all they could about blogs and social networks. Are these still the hot spots for companies wanting to start using social media, or are other areas emerging?

Blogs and social networking are still very "hot." Gosh, I don't like saying that because it makes anything new media related sound like a fad - which it decidedly is NOT.
Online communities and engagement are emerging areas for brand investment. Companies that are active in social media are finally getting the blogosphere memo that it's not just about being part of the community and listening, but facilitating dialogue as well. It's not enough to attend the party, you need to be P. Diddy and HOST the party.

So, are you ready to be P.Diddy and HOST the party? (for those who need the explanation, P.Diddy is lead member of a popular beat combo, renowned for hosting fabulous Edwardian-themed parties [the tea cakes are to die for].) Or maybe we're reaching saturation point with the different communities springing up everywhere, and people need to start being the interesting, witty guest - not just a silent part of the community, but not necessarily hosting it either.

Every party has a stand-out guest who has all the interesting stories and great contacts - with a bit of effort, B2B organisations probably already have the content and it's time to start sharing... Paul Dunay has an excellent post that starts to point at this direction - being the star that brings other parties to life with distributed content...

Having said that, Lena's views on what (and when) to consider starting/expanding a social media initiative are well worth a read...

Tuesday, 24 June 2008

What's that? Sounds like the distant scraping of a barrel... Facebook and Visa try to monetise Facebook

BBC news reports on Visa's new B2B push on Facebook. It's creating business-specific applications for small busines owners who register on The Visa Business Network. Take a look at the Facebook site they've built here.

They see small businesses benefiting in two ways - firstly by joining a network to connect and learn from other people in similar situations, and secondly with $100 advertising credits to promote their services to Facebook users.

Only time will tell whether this is enough to persuade Visa's target businesses to take the plunge and start a more structured facebook approach.

Monday, 16 June 2008

HP and EDS: truth behind the stories

We asked gizoogle to put cnet's coverage of the EDS acquisition into language more suited for children on the street... you can see the full story translated here, but some highlights:

Hewlett-Packard said Tuesday it will acquire computa services firm EDS fo` $25 per share, or $13.9 billion, in a deal intended ta boost HP's services revenue . Drop it like its hot.

On Monday night, HP had confirmed tizzle tha two companies were in raps , spendin' news reports brotha in tha day.

The deal will create a cracka services giant intended ta rival IBM in tha market fo` serv'n business customa . Ill slap tha taste out yo mouf.

At tha end of 2007, HP n EDS had a collective services revenue of more thizzay $38 billion n 210,000 employees, doing business in mizzy tizzy 80 countries, HP said n' shit.

HP said it wiznill establish a new business group, called EDS--an HP company, whizzich wizzy be heezeequartered at EDS's exist'n executive offices in Plano, Texas yaba daba dizzle. EDS will continue ta be led by EDS Chairman, President n Chief Executive Playa Ronald A . Im a bad boy wit a lotta hos.

In 2000, HP was in raps ta acquire PricewaterhouseCoopa . Chill as I take you on a trip. The controvizzles acquisition was tha fizzay big move by then-CEO Carly Fiorina fo gettin yo pimp on. But a signifizzles earn'n shortfall in tha fall of 2000, along wit signifizzle doggy stylin' on Wizzle Street, prompted HP ta drop tha idea.

"We're chillin' tha playbook we K-N-to-tha-izzow how ta run very well," Hurd told analysts weed-smokin' tha conference call Tuesday morn'n. "We kizzy how ta git signifizzles leverage out of our scale . Throw yo guns in the air. We spizzay doublizzle thousands of hours on tha due diligence n plann'n , betta check yo self. This thing (EDS) is very attractive. We didn't bakes in a lot of revenue synergies, but they is there."

HP Chief Technology Brotha Shane Robison said in an interview thizzat this doesn't represent a shizzay in strategy n thizzay HP will continue ta invest organically with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin.

Thursday, 12 June 2008

Tool of the week

So every week (or so... let's not get bogged down by restrictive SLAs here - everyone knows they're the enemy of innovation...) I'm going to pick a tool from, sign up and show the fruits of my labours here.

First pick I'm already in love with - streams video live from your mobile phone to the internet. So this post will constantly update with my latest videos (or, if you're extra lucky, with live video as I film it...).

Anyone have any suggestions for next week's tool??

Tuesday, 10 June 2008

The obligatory iPhone 3G post

Well, so here it is. Apparently there's something called an i-phone, which is a bit like a home phone or a pay phone (only less vandalised and without the 'ladies' cards advertising certain services - although on a side note I think I saw that Boris Johnson was going round taking them all out which strikes me as a bit greedy or maybe I got the wrong end of the stick) and you can carry it around with you and can talk to people without being connected by wires. I'm not sure it'll ever catch on.

You can tell I was already impressed, but when Steve Jobs got up and presented to the world it just got better.

The moment at 1.18 should really go down in history. This is where Steve announces another feature (like the flagship 3G) that should probably have been there from the start: 'flush headphone jack'. Watch the video and listen to the roar of the audience when he says those magic words.... say them yourselves.... 'flush headphone jack'... it's practically poetry.

Maybe this is the future. Maybe we can all just go and turn the most minor features into key selling points. 'AJAX compatible' 'JTEE compliant'...

Apple clearly know their onions (oh dear) and have decided that people don't care about video calling (no front camera) or indeed sharing photos (no picture messaging or upgraded camera) but what they want is speed (3G) and openness (flush headphone jack in the same way as it's been opened up to 3rd party apps). Out of interest, Gizmodo has a longer list of what it won't do.

It's all well and good but I think I'll stick with my Nokia e90. At worst I can use it as a brick to fight off crowds of admirers with without fear of scratching the screen.

Say it one last time...

...flush headphone jack.

IBM: capabilizzles n innovative think'n ta ignite growth in yo business in all flavas

Tired of 'business value'? Seen one too many 'our strength lies in our people and consultative approach'? We've found a great tool called 'gizoogle' that translates websites into language you can really understand.

Take IBM for example. Ever wondered what solutions big blue actually offers for the kids on the street? Take a look here.

Turns out they don't really 'integrate hardware, software, business consulting and IT services into business solutions to meet your goals. IBM also has strong alliances with partners to deliver business solutions.'

Here's the truth*:

IBM integrates hardware, software, business consult'n n IT services into business solutions ta mizzle yo goals. IBM also has strong alliances wit partna ta deliva business solutions in tha mutha f***n club.

And here's what they do for the telecommunications industry (actually, its Telecommunicizzles):

Our view now pass the glock Anotha dogg house production.: Telecom service provida that is strong collaborizzles can outperform they competizzles by mobbin' innovative services thiznat build loyalty among high-value playa. Read our latest accomplishment:
IBM wins Systems Integrator Bizzy Practices Award fo` business process redesign at T-Cizzom Croatia

So what have we learnt? Easy: turn to IBM next time you need to build loyalty among high-value playas.

Or visit to see what your company is really saying...

* For a given, hoodie, version of truth