We asked gizoogle to put cnet's coverage of the EDS acquisition into language more suited for children on the street... you can see the full story translated here, but some highlights:
Hewlett-Packard said Tuesday it will acquire computa services firm EDS fo` $25 per share, or $13.9 billion, in a deal intended ta boost HP's services revenue . Drop it like its hot.
On Monday night, HP had confirmed tizzle tha two companies were in raps , spendin' news reports brotha in tha day.
The deal will create a cracka services giant intended ta rival IBM in tha market fo` serv'n business customa . Ill slap tha taste out yo mouf.
At tha end of 2007, HP n EDS had a collective services revenue of more thizzay $38 billion n 210,000 employees, doing business in mizzy tizzy 80 countries, HP said n' shit.
HP said it wiznill establish a new business group, called EDS--an HP company, whizzich wizzy be heezeequartered at EDS's exist'n executive offices in Plano, Texas yaba daba dizzle. EDS will continue ta be led by EDS Chairman, President n Chief Executive Playa Ronald A . Im a bad boy wit a lotta hos.
In 2000, HP was in raps ta acquire PricewaterhouseCoopa . Chill as I take you on a trip. The controvizzles acquisition was tha fizzay big move by then-CEO Carly Fiorina fo gettin yo pimp on. But a signifizzles earn'n shortfall in tha fall of 2000, along wit signifizzle doggy stylin' on Wizzle Street, prompted HP ta drop tha idea.
"We're chillin' tha playbook we K-N-to-tha-izzow how ta run very well," Hurd told analysts weed-smokin' tha conference call Tuesday morn'n. "We kizzy how ta git signifizzles leverage out of our scale . Throw yo guns in the air. We spizzay doublizzle thousands of hours on tha due diligence n plann'n , betta check yo self. This thing (EDS) is very attractive. We didn't bakes in a lot of revenue synergies, but they is there."
HP Chief Technology Brotha Shane Robison said in an interview thizzat this doesn't represent a shizzay in strategy n thizzay HP will continue ta invest organically with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin.